Leah Carson was a teenager a few years ago. She lost her first pet, a Golden Retriever called Sandy. She grew up with the dog and did almost everything together with the pet and her family. However, when Carson was about 11years old, Sandy got sick and was diagnosed with cancer. Unfortunately, they had to put her down. Carson was sad and she was in deep pain resulting in grief for a long time over the loss of her dog. Like Carson, a lot of young teens lose someone they loved. This can be distressing.

It is normal for teenagers and young adults to experience normal grief in the unfortunate event of losing a loved one. This is usually accompanied by anger, pain and brief numbness. These feelings go away after some time. However, like Carson, some people hold on to those feelings and refuse to acknowledge the death of their loved one. The condition of grief worsens over time and grief becomes complicated and it becomes hard going to school and continuing with other activities. Grief can be painful and may take a toll on your personal and social life if not addressed like the case of Leah Carson.

PREVALENCE

Grief and mourning are a normal part of human life and everyone experiences them at some point in their lives. Everyone is at risk of experiencing grief. However, when the loss of a person makes you unable to continue functioning normally, it turns too complicated grief. According to Bonanno, George, about 10-15% of people worldwide suffer from complicated grief, However, children and teens handle grief in a different way that is dangerous. Research shows that teens are five times more likely to commit suicide following the loss of their parents. It is important that as a teen to seek medical and professional help to help you treat grief before it is too late.

WARNING SIGNS OF GRIEF

Adult men and women show different signs of grief compared to children and teens. Depending on the stage of life a person is grief will show manifest differently. Like Carson, denial and shock will be the first signs of grief. Teens and young adults experiencing grief will exhibit the following symptoms;

Prolonged denial and shock will be the first warning signs that you potentially have complicated grief disorder. Like Carson, she could not believe the abrupt loss of her dog’s life. The dog was part and parcel of her everyday life and her absence was noticeable. She still thought the dog was alive even after its death. These are signs of denial and shock.

The second warning sign of grief is a frequent outburst of anger. Just like Carson who lost her dog, she had moments where she would yell and argue with her parents even concerning little things. Anger is as a result of shock. Loosing a lost one may make you angry and furious with yourself and the world around you.

You are unable to complete simple tasks both at home and at school. The loss of your loved one might lead to a lack of interest and concentration. This will make it hard for you to complete simple tasks at school and at home.

Fourthly, you are always moody and cry frequently. Your friends and family will notice you always cry. This is shortly followed by a frequent change in moods. You are happy momentarily before you quickly become sad again like Leah Carson. If you have experienced the above warning signs and symptoms, you need to talk to someone or seek professional counsel.

CAUSES

Grief is a natural human response to losing someone or a loved one such as a pet like Carson’s case. There are a lot of factors that can cause prolonged and complicated grief. First, the death of a loved one is a major trigger of grief. Losing your close friend or family member or your loved pet could make you grieve. Just like Leah who experienced grief from losing her doing who she grew up with and did everything together, you could experience grief from losing your loved one.

Secondly, your parents are divorcing or ending their relationship. Divorce is hard especially on teens and children. The thought of your parents separating could trigger feelings of grief inside you. The stigma created by separation creates a feeling of loss which leads to grief and other mental illnesses such as depression.

A recent accident, natural disaster or severe illness left you in fear and in grief. Surviving disasters or accidents have been known to leave mental scars on patients.

Students who start life in new schools or colleges have been known to suffer from grief. This is because the students feel the loss of friends and a friendly environment is too much to bear, leaving them in shock and denial.

TREATMENT

If you, your friend or one of your family members have been suffering from prolonged grief, then you have started the first step of self-awareness and recognizing you need help. Grief is treatable and with the help of a qualified professional, you will slowly overcome the grief plaguing you. Going fo therapy and talking to someone will be helpful in reducing the symptoms of grief. Prescribed therapy, bereavement counseling, and medication will help you alleviate the symptoms of grief and restore your hormonal balance, as grief is a cognitive (to do with the brain) disorder.

Not only treatment, but also social support may also be valuable for teens that lose their pet, parents, or guardians. They would need compassion and empathy from others surrounding them. That helps with dealing with the stigma that comes with losing a loved one. In the event that a friend loses his or her parent, do not be afraid to approach them. Do not judge or condemn them. Love on them, knowing that they might also be at risk of developing mental health problems, such as depression, drug and substance abuse, and even committing suicide, especially with extreme isolation.

WHERE TO SEEK HELP IN NZ

Complicated grief is the main illness and a potential threat to your life. If you or your family member or your friend have experienced the symptoms do not waver to seek medical attention, before something happens. Feel free to talk to a professional concerning your grief feelings via free call or text to 1737 any time of the day or night to get assistance.

Don’t be scared to text or call anytime to reach out to a professional Majority of people experience grief feel lonely and rejected. But that is not true. A team of professionals and counselors who care are ready to talk to you at any time of the day and week. Take this opportunity and call 0800 111 757. Talk to someone caring today and open up about your sorrows sad thoughts and feelings.

If you prefer texting, text 4202, which is a free text and get help today. You can also get help online by visiting SPARX.org.nz –  (online e-therapy tool provided by the University of Auckland that helps young people learn skills to deal with feeling down, depressed or stressed), or www.depression.org.nz  (includes The Journal online help service). Feel free to talk to your fellow peer using out warmlines at Canterbury and West Coast (03 379 8415 / 0800 899 276), from 1pm to midnights everyday.